DICKWAD! 

Only someone that actually listens to Dave Nichols would try clicking there and expect to see a web page appear!

DICKWAD = Dave Is Custom King Without A Doubt

Dave Is Custom King, Without A Doubt!

  The sooner you realize this fact, the happier and less frustrated you’ll be as you find your particular place in the special little world of Custom Pearl Inlay. Say the phrase out loud. Learn to accept it. Repeat it often- it will help. I like to say it every time Dave does something really special. Kinglike. It’s a wordy phrase, so to keep it simple, I just use the initials. Somehow, this makes it even more satisfying to say. Here are some examples: You struggle with a particular tool, Dave comes over and shows you that it’s upside down. And backwards. And not plugged in. And not the right tool. And time for lunch. So lets go. Shake your head and say “DICKWAD!” You break 3 blades sawing a snowflake. Dave saws 3 snowflakes while you’re changing the blade. While he’s on the phone. And pouring a drink. And joking with Lee. Sigh and say “DICKWAD!” You glue the pattern down on your fretboard. Dave points out that, had he chosen epoxy in­stead of Duco, he would’ve used some from both tubes. And then he shows Lee, who laughs. Grimace and say “DICKWAD!” You just routed your tree of life inlay. Dave suggests installing the frets last next time. And watch that router, the depth screw slips. Real bad. And then he makes it look good. Real good. Grind your teeth and say “DICKWAD!” Dave sits and begins sawing. So do you. Your piece is good, so you show Dave. He is finishing  the last of 10 matched, perfect “Cornelius J. Bunnysucker” signatures in abalone. And is half way through a neck re-set. And sold a guitar. All while hassling Lee. And sharing a drink. Let your jaw fall open and say “DICKWAD!” You come up with a great, original new idea that will revolutionize the world of pearl inlay. Dave, it seems, had that idea 27 years ago, perfected it and abandoned it for a better one. Squint until you get a headache and say “DICKWAD!” You think you’ve finally mastered that song you’ve been working hard on. If you’re warmed up and ready, it sounds OK. Dave wants to jam with you and plays it in 6 different keys on 4 different instruments with 2 new verses. And wins the poker round. While joking with Lee. Squeeze your strings until your fingers bleed and say “DICKWAD!” You spend the night agonizing over the detail on a particular original floral design for your headstock. You later find it in one of Dave’s big binders. He used it on a guitar that you saw 20 years ago and your sub-conscience never forgot. It was really his idea, not yours. Smack yourself on the head with that binder and say “DICKWAD!” You know that guitar you fell in love with in that book? It’s one of Dave’s. You know your fa­vorite player’s guitar? That’s one of Dave’s too. And Dave played mandolin with that guy. And his cousin. And spent a drunken Thanksgiving with them. And he could probably tell you something about his sister, too. Dave has forgotten more than you will ever learn and he has absolutely no problem sharing everything with anyone-even Liberals. And that is why Dave will always be the King, without a doubt... and why it will always be just another deuce for you.

 Advice by K. Rose, Proud LameAss since a week ago Tuesday, or so…